[Postmark: July 27, 1846]
Monday Morning.
That is sufficient, ever dearest : now dismiss the matter
from your thoughts, as I shall — having forced myself once
to admit that most dreadful of possibilities and to provide
for it, I need not have compunction at dwelling on the
brighter, better chances which God’s previous dispensations
encourage me to expect. There may be even a claimant,
instead of a recipient, of whatever either of us can bequeath
— who knows ? For which reason, but most of all for the
stronger yourself adduce — the contingency of your illness
— I do not ask you to ‘ relinquish a part ‘ — not as our
arrangements now are ordered : for I have never been so
foolish as to think we could live without money, if not of my
obtaining, then of your possessing, and though, in certain
respects I should have preferred to try the first course, —
at the beginning at least, when my faculties seemed more my
own and that ‘ end of the summer ‘ had a less absorbing
interest (as I perceive now) — yet, as that is not to be, I
have only to be thankful that you are not dependent on my
exertions, — which I could not be sure of, — particularly
with this uncertain head of mine. I hope when we once
are together, the world will not hear of us again until
the very end — it would be horrible to have to come back to
it and ask its help.
I wish Mr. Kenyon had paid his visit — our Tuesday
would be safer — I shall be with you unless a letter forbids.
I can only say this now, because I expect my visitors nearly
directly, — Moxon and Forster, do you remember? And
the post is always late in arriving on Mondays. But I
should fill sheets of paper to no purpose if I thought to tell
you how I love you — ‘ more than ever ‘ — I am wholly your
own, dearest dearest.
Pat Flush for me — after having let me kiss you, Ba !